I shall be released

I want a little bit of release.

Now.

Release has its specifics. Like when you're praying for a night to end, a situation to disappear, a new season to bless your life. Those kinds of prayers happen when we are human and desparate, and wisdom comes into it no more than life-experience does to a newborn deciding to cry.

I'll fly away. Escape. It's almost an easy thing to pray, because it requires so little logical effort. But it occurred to me today that those kind of prayers quite often turn from disbelief to acceptance in the space of a few moments. 'Don't make me deal with this' becomes 'I will deal with this, but this is how much I need your help.'

Now, honestly, those are the kinds of requests that have saved me a lot of tears. But what if it worked the other way round?

I want more
I want release

- freedom to be me
- freedom from oppression
- freedom from force of circumstance.

Fair enough, says perennial pretty liberal friend, the bill of rights wants that for you too. Good. Keep on fighting that good fight. Thus society grants me integrity, respect and confidence in the blink of an eye. This is all very nice.

Hard sell: that kind of freedom is sweet, and it's hidden behind way more facades than you think. I can taste freedom from things I'm fighting, and I fight, every day of my life. These aren't fun fights. They're the mundane, the dutiful, the things that make so little difference at the time but quite often catch up on you when you find you've slept for 14 hours straight for the first time in your life, with absolutely no justification.

If I want freedom, it's mine to have, but not without a struggle. No matter how small the freedom, you can land yourself an almighty struggle. So it would be hypocritical to reject the freedoms that come from a good deal of effort and restraint, and going the extra mile, while I'm wishing on a star that my loved ones develop the ability not to feel pain.

See what's possible: it's yours to gain if you break your own chains, it's a freedom you've never felt before. And more, than you can possibly imagine, will follow. If your heart is wise, focussed and sealed: keep heart.